Friday, January 02, 2009


I am desperate. I have been sleeping right after sunrise for weeks now -- talk about taking advantage of the break. I've been lying awake for an hour now, staring into nothingness. My laptop, I already stashed away thinking that it will help me gain back, what is now foreign to me, "normal". I am now using cel in making this entry. I put my iPod on shuffle. A game that I usually play. I've gone mental, forgive me. Another half hour has passed and my player has been playing 2 of 5787. I'm amusing myself with a scene on my mind. A music video in which Chad Murray -- "Michael" has been scap-d since we got together in 2009 (it's 2010) -- and I star in. "Perfect Grave" by Social Order. A bit too whiney for my taste but at least I get to be with Chaddie.

Ew. I've gone mental.