Tuesday, October 28, 2008


I had a rough start this year and going through the months of drawbacks, resentment, and whatnot would usually make me feel like this tiny person who didn't deserve anything. The weird thing is, I am doing pretty fine. I've been waiting for so long to finally say that I AM DOING FINE. The problem is, I tell people that I'm an optimist but in reality I am the opposite (which I doubt because being a pessimist would seem like an understatement). I am afraid of failure, imperfection, and anything that would trigger criticisms, but I've realized that sometimes there are things (and/or people) that would drag you to those things that you've been avoiding ever since you've learned basic Geometry (in my case, the 1st grade). 

I know I've slacked off during the first semester and I know I've flipped my head over by receiving failing marks due to mediocrity. And I think to myself, is this the end of it? Well, let's just wait for the DEV grades to come out. Seriously, though, I regret the times when I'd doze off, sulk around, and stare into space when I could've pried into my readings more. But another part of me does not. It's weird but I am laughing my ass off when I think of the moments when I've completely bombarded my friends' ears about my "suck-y life" and "why can't things go my way speech". I am sorry that I almost had to literally stitch your ears back into place. Although they shouldn't trust me with the stitching, I am having problems with which one is LEFT and RIGHT.
Point is, this break has given me time to relax and think for a tad bit. And whatever happens, so what?!