Sunday, June 08, 2008


I tend to space out most of the time. It's this unconscious thinking of the past events that keeps haunting me. Everyday I wake up thinking about my brother--how much I miss him, how I'm never gonna see him, at least for the meantime. I got to bed with him at the back of my mind. That's my daily routine. Thinking about the pasts hurts. But what's difficult is looking at the future. Thinking of how he's never gonna be with us, physically. All the occasions that call for a family photo will bring too much memories. It will never be the same again.

I think about the "depression" I had for the past few months, it was too much for me to take that I almost brought myself to a shrink (KIDDING). And I felt that it's gonna take me a long time to, um, heal. But I remember talking to Shelley at a BBQ party. I asked her how she managed to "get over it". She said, "kung sa daddy ko nga nakaya ko.. eto pa kaya..." (or something to that effect). And then I thought, yeah. And from then on, I promised myself that the one thing that I'm allowed not to get over is my brother's death and nothing else. And the rest? CHICKEN FEET.